Set Sail for the Future, Mateys

Found an old wrinkly piece of paper in my pocket. A TiVo machine helped me get it from TV. It said this:

John Stewart: "In your judgment, is this the worst crisis this administration has faced?"

Ed Helms: "Well, Jon, as you know, administration fiascos are named alphabetically. As you can see, Katrina is their 11th out of what could be up to 26 colossal failures."

The list of fiascoes was up very briefly. I love the fact that it does, in fact, get worse from here, especially R, T, V and Y.

Abu Graib
Bin Laden
Chalabi
Deficit
Enron
Failure to find WMD's
Halliburton
Iraq
John Bolton
Katrina
Locusts
Mars Attacks
North Korea
Osama & Jenna
Pregnancy: Osama & Jenna
Queer Revolt
Rodents of Unusual Size
Syrian War
Tigers
Unicyclists, Nuclear
Voldemort
WWIII
X-Rated Tape: Osama & Jenna
Yam Shortage
Zero People Left on Earth

This has been your daily Daily Show. I'm now a comedy pirate.