The Kids Aren't Alright
Some highlights from pre-finals channel surfing:
On TLC-
A family with 16 kids has it tough, as they only have three bedrooms. Says the mother with a creepy expression: "Saying there are too many children is like saying there are too many flowers." Imagine this family, with the help of red polo shirts, always tucked in, parted hair, and an uncomfortable presence of spotted facial hair on their undefined jaws. Floral mumu and fluorescent red lipstick on the mother.
On CNN's Nancy Grace-
"Mother accused of microwaving infant"
When asked "How long would it take to kill the child?" one doctor replied with essentially the following answer: "Well, we don't know, because nobody really has experience with this, and we can't run those experiments." They kept coming to that question, and doctors' answers range from under 1 minute to 3 minutes.
They went on to speculate her excuses: "I was getting back at the father" and "the baby was cold and I wanted to warm it up" said Nancy. This after "A baby in the microwave? I hadn't even imagined something like this."
I know of at least 16 people that have imagined something like this.
On TLC-
A family with 16 kids has it tough, as they only have three bedrooms. Says the mother with a creepy expression: "Saying there are too many children is like saying there are too many flowers." Imagine this family, with the help of red polo shirts, always tucked in, parted hair, and an uncomfortable presence of spotted facial hair on their undefined jaws. Floral mumu and fluorescent red lipstick on the mother.
On CNN's Nancy Grace-
"Mother accused of microwaving infant"
When asked "How long would it take to kill the child?" one doctor replied with essentially the following answer: "Well, we don't know, because nobody really has experience with this, and we can't run those experiments." They kept coming to that question, and doctors' answers range from under 1 minute to 3 minutes.
They went on to speculate her excuses: "I was getting back at the father" and "the baby was cold and I wanted to warm it up" said Nancy. This after "A baby in the microwave? I hadn't even imagined something like this."
I know of at least 16 people that have imagined something like this.
posted by Jon at 10:04 PM
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